Self Care is Not Always About Bubble Baths: 5/22
From the journal May 2022:
The deepest form of self-care is building a life you are in love with, and oh, how true that rings, like a bell in the quiet of my heart. It sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? To be in love with your own life, to wake up each day feeling a thrill at the thought of what’s to come. Yet, the truth, as I’m learning, is that this endeavor is often an unbeautiful thing, a tangled mess of decisions and sacrifices that rarely fits neatly into a picture-perfect narrative.
It means looking your disappointments square in the eye, not flinching, but facing them head-on. I’ve had to confront my own disappointments, those shadows that creep into my mind, whispering the “what-ifs” and “if-onlys.” It’s a heavy burden, but there’s a certain liberation in restrategizing, in acknowledging that life doesn’t always unfold as planned. It’s a dance of resilience, a waltz of reimagining my path, and sometimes it feels like I’m stepping on my own toes, stumbling through the darkness to find the light.
Self-care isn't about indulging every immediate desire, no, it’s about the deeper, more profound choices. It’s the grit of letting go—of relationships, of dreams that no longer serve me, of the old versions of myself that cling like ivy. It requires courage to choose new paths, to say no to what isn’t working, even if it disappoints some people. I’ve had to learn that disappointment is a part of the process, that not everyone will understand my journey, my need to carve out a life that feels true and authentic.
And yes, it is making sacrifices for others, too. The balance is delicate, like a tightrope walk, where I must weigh my desires against the needs of those I love. Sometimes, that means putting their needs first, sometimes it means prioritizing my own growth. It’s a constant ebb and flow, a negotiation between self and other, and I’m learning to navigate it with grace.
Living in a way most people won’t—this is where the real magic happens. It’s the audacity to pursue what sets my soul on fire, even if it means stepping outside the comfort of what’s expected. It’s about creating a life that resonates with who I am at my core, and that often means diving into the depths of discomfort and uncertainty.
I’m becoming the person I know I want and am meant to be. Someone who understands that life isn’t merely about escape, but about joyfully embracing the messy, glorious reality of existence. Salt baths and chocolate cake are not just treats; they are rituals that ground me in the present, ways to savor the sweetness of life while acknowledging its complexities.
So I write this as a declaration, a reminder to myself that self-care is not always about bubble baths and spa days, but about the hard work of crafting a life that reflects my truest self. It’s about being brave enough to love my life, even when it’s unbeautiful, and knowing that in doing so, I am nurturing the deepest form of self-care—one that is rich, authentic, and profoundly fulfilling.
