Start With The Mirror: 1/24

I wrote this in January but, it’s definitely something I come back to all the time. Redirecting my thoughts to help myself feel more liberated in my creative process and, well…just life.

From the journal January 2024:

I’m feeling an urge to dive deep into a conversation with myself, a conversation that has been long overdue. Sometimes, you’ve got to set boundaries with you. Yes, you heard me right! It’s a strange notion, isn’t it? But the truth is, I’ve been allowing certain habits, thoughts, and even fears to run amok in my mind, and it’s time to rein them in.

I’ve realized that sometimes I’ve got to stop taking my own bullshit. There are those moments when I find myself spiraling into self-doubt or engaging in negative self-talk, and I think, “Wait a minute! This isn’t who I am.” It’s easy to become our own worst critics, to hold ourselves to impossible standards that we would never impose on anyone else. I’m learning that I have the power to change the narrative, to rewrite the script of my internal dialogue.

And here’s the kicker: sometimes, you’re the toxic person in the relationship you have with yourself. It sounds harsh, but I can’t ignore it. I’ve been that person who sabotages my own joy, who dismisses achievements with a wave of the hand, who allows fear to dictate my choices. It’s time to take a hard look at the patterns I’ve created, the cycles that keep me stuck in a loop of self-criticism and doubt.

So, as I embark on this journey of self-reflection, I acknowledge that sometimes, when you go to clean house, you start with the mirror. That mirror can be a scary place; it forces us to confront the truth of who we are without the filters we often hide behind. But I’m ready. I want to stand there, gazing into my own eyes, and have an honest conversation. 

I want to acknowledge the parts of me that need love, the parts that are still healing, and yes, the parts that need a firm boundary drawn around them. I want to ask myself: What do you need right now? What are the beliefs you’ve been carrying that no longer serve you? What fears are you holding onto that keep you from stepping fully into your life?

This is not about self-flagellation; it’s about liberation. It’s about giving myself permission to exist without the weight of unrealistic expectations. It’s about being my own ally, my own cheerleader, and yes, my own boundary setter.

So today, I commit to nurturing a healthier relationship with myself. I will call out the toxic thoughts when they arise, replace them with kindness, and set firm yet loving boundaries. I’ll celebrate my victories, no matter how small, and remind myself that I am deserving of love, joy, and peace.

Here’s to the journey ahead, to the messy, beautiful process of cleaning house. I’m ready to embrace who I am, flaws and all, and to cultivate a relationship with myself that feels authentic and nurturing. After all, the most important relationship I will ever have is the one I foster with myself. 

With love and determination,  

Me