With Hope Amidst the Heaviness:11/24
From the journal November 2024:
Nothing hard ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Today is a hard day. I woke up to a world that feels heavy, like an oppressive weight pressing down on my chest. As I scroll through the news, I can’t shake the feeling that this country is united in its hate for equality. It’s as if there’s a collective heartbeat that pulses with resentment against the very notion that we all deserve to stand on equal ground, that we all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
I feel this hate most acutely when I think about all women but, black women in particular—our struggles, our voices, our rights. It’s as if we are constantly fighting against a tide that seeks to drown us, to silence our laughter, to diminish our contributions. The headlines scream of policies and rhetoric that seem to push us back, to erase the progress we’ve fought so hard to achieve. It’s infuriating and heartbreaking all at once.
There’s a voice in my mind that urges me to resist despair, to seek out the small victories, the moments of connection and solidarity. Yet, when the darkness feels so pervasive, it’s hard to see the light. I think about the women I know—friends, sisters, strangers—and I feel an ache for our dreams, our ambitions, our right to live fully and freely in a world that respects us.
I watch us navigate a landscape that often devalues our worth, and my heart aches. I think of the conversations filled with laughter that turn to silence when the topic of inequality arises. I see the flickers of doubt that cross our faces when we question whether our voices matter. I want to shake all of us and say, “You matter! Your dreams matter! Don’t let this world convince you otherwise!”
But today, despite this heaviness, I also feel the stirring of resilience. I remind myself that nothing hard ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Perhaps this struggle is a lesson in perseverance, in solidarity, in the power of our collective voices. Perhaps it is a call to deepen our compassion, to understand that the fight for equality is not just for ourselves, but for every woman who has ever felt silenced.
I also remind myself that the darkness does not have to win. There are pockets of light in this world—organizations fighting for justice, communities coming together in support, women lifting each other up. The small victories exist, even if they seem overshadowed by the overwhelming noise of hatred. I will seek them out. I will celebrate them.
Today may be hard, but I will not let it extinguish my hope. I will write, I will paint, I will teach, I will speak, I will connect with others who share this vision of equality. We are not alone in this fight. Together, we can spark change, even if it starts with a single voice rising above the clamor.
So I take a deep breath, let the weight settle for a moment today, and remind myself that resilience is found in the struggle. I will hold onto that thought as I navigate this hard time, knowing that every ounce of courage we muster is a step toward a brighter future.
With hope amidst the heaviness…
