You Matter The Most: 2/24
From the journal February 2024:
The reality is, the greatest harm I’ve ever done to others is rooted in my own inability to take care of myself. It’s a realization that strikes at the core of my relationships, illuminating the shadowy corners where I’ve neglected my own needs, inadvertently casting darkness on those I love.
For so long, I wore the mask of the caretaker, the friend who would bend over backwards to ensure everyone else’s happiness while quietly sacrificing my own. In my eagerness to be there for others, I often overlooked my own well-being, allowing my needs to slip into the background like a forgotten melody. I thought that by putting their needs first, I was being selfless, but in truth, I was merely postponing my own healing, my own joy.
It’s taken me a while to recognize that when I fail to nurture myself, I become a hollow vessel, unable to pour from an empty cup. I’ve seen it play out time and again—when I’m depleted, my patience wears thin, my empathy wanes, and I find myself snapping at those I care about or retreating into silence. It’s an unsettling cycle, one that leaves me feeling both guilty and isolated, as if I’m perpetually caught in a web of my own making.
I’ve learned that self-care isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a necessary act of love, not only for myself but for those around me. When I prioritize my own well-being, I create a ripple effect, allowing me to show up more fully for others. I can listen with an open heart, offer support without resentment, and engage in relationships that nourish rather than drain.
It’s a journey, this learning to care for myself. It requires vulnerability, the willingness to admit that I am not invincible, that I am allowed to feel tired or overwhelmed. It’s about setting boundaries, saying no when I need to, and allowing myself the grace to step back and recharge. It’s about recognizing that my worth isn’t tied to my ability to please others, but rather to my inherent value as a human being.
As I embrace this, I find myself cultivating a deeper sense of compassion for both myself and others. I’m beginning to understand that when I take the time to care for my own needs—whether that means indulging in quiet moments of solitude, pursuing my passions, or simply allowing myself to rest—I am not being selfish; I am being responsible. I am honoring the interconnectedness of our human experience, nurturing the relationships that matter most to me.
I am learning to listen to my body, to my heart, and to my spirit. I will celebrate my own needs alongside those of others, recognizing that in doing so, I create a more vibrant, authentic connection with the world around me.
I’ve learned I actually love the healing that comes from prioritizing myself, and the love that flourishes when we learn to care for our own hearts first. I want to continue to grow, to learn, and to extend that grace to others because we all need to put our mask on first and so many of us never ever do.
With love and intention…
